i've been anorexic for 2 years and i'm finally on my way to recovery. that is a lot of change. i've been doing a lot of self relfecting relating to how my eating disorder developed and stayed with me for so long, and i think it has a lot to do with my fear of change. so how am i supposed to recover and change my body, habits, entire lifestyle when i have this irrational fear of change??? recovery is such a scary thought but i have alwas been envious of those who love their bodies even when bones aren't sticking out everywhere. will i ever be able to get to that point? and when does every single meal stop feeling like a binge? when does the guilt stop? urghh sometimes i just want to fast forward time until all my problems are gone, wouldn't that be ideal?